Friends: How to Be a Good One and Find a Good One
Some of the most meaningful relationships we will have in our life are friends. When we have a good friend or friend community, it's so helpful and hopeful. And if you don't have a friend or friend community, that can feel helpless and discouraging.
I've been thinking a lot about friends and friendships - and wanted to share some ideas that may be helpful. Along the way, I'll teach you how to draw a new friend > Wanda > as part of the process!
Listening - being a good friend and having a good friend involves listening. The more you can feel secure, confident and safe within yourself > the more you can listen without having to change another person or feel the need to be someone different yourself.
2. Ease - the best friendships are natural and fit well. Often friendships develop from mutual interests or experiences. Mutual interests and experiences don't automatically create good friends, but they can!
3. Considerate - friends care about each other, but not in a codependent, tit-for-tat way. In a culture where we can get so distracted with all kinds of things, it's easy to forget the people we care about. To be a good friend and find a good friend, remember the value of mutual consideration and kindness.
4. Communication - being able to talk openly and not on "walk on eggshells" is so helpful in our relationships. This has to do with emotional maturity and confidence. Intimacy and connection thrives when we can be freely open with another and they can be freely open with us.
5. Trust - being in a healthy relationship includes trust. It's important to trust that someone will keep your life private and you will do the same for them.
In friendship, we trust the relationship and can show up for each other and make each other a priority! And, if at times we can't > there's compassion and grace!
6. Values - when we choose relationships, it can help to know what we value. What are your beliefs and the things you hold dear? Even if the other person has different beliefs and values, do they respect yours? Can you respect them and theirs? The best friendships care about each other's values!
7. Being seen - a big part of loving and being loved is being seen and seeing someone else AS THEY ARE! We all long to be known and seen! It's so meaningful to know and see others too! If this post speaks to you, consider sharing it with a friend to let them know how valuable they are to you!
Remember that some people have friends for a lifetime, some for periods of time, and there are always possibilities to meet and make new friends and friendships! We can also have multiple best friends and friends who we connect with because of commonalities - like you have multiple best friends based on categories (same career, parenting, writers and creatives, exercise, neighbors, etc)
In life sometimes we lose friends, due to moving, death, betrayal, changing times, or ? It's okay to grieve these losses and find support if needed.
If you need a friend or want to expand your friend community, hang out in the World of Wanda where we love sharing love and supporting each other :)