What Would Wanda Do > about Someone Not Liking You

Dear Wanda,

I have been trying to stand up for myself and what matters to me. But this makes some people mad. Yesterday after speaking up for something, I heard someone say something hurtful about me. Their comment made me sad and doubt myself. Honestly, it ruined the rest of my day. I had to really work hard to start over today. Is there anything you can suggest to make this less painful... or should I just keep my mouth shut? I seem to have less problems that way.

Sincerely, Put Down for Speaking Up

Dear Speaking Up,

First, I want to congratulate you for speaking up. Some of us definitely have a hard time saying what we need or want. YAY! that you did speak up.

It is hard when we finally do speak up > only to have others be mad at us, call us names and even be mean. I'll ask you to remember you are not responsible for what others think of you. You are responsible for yourself and your self-care. Speaking up is great self-care.

If you speak up and that makes others > mad, uncomfortable, and even hurtful > then that is on them to deal with.

Definitely don't let anyone be abusive or mean. If they are, you may need to speak up more and even get support. But if they are just grumbling > let them grumble. Grumble, grumble... good-bye!

DO NOT let this situation make you doubt yourself. DO NOT let this response from someone make you silent.

Honestly, if you struggle with disappointing people by being yourself > then you need to be yourself and disappoint people even more. Maybe a little more practice is called for.

The people worth having in your life are the people who want you to speak up... I truly hope you remember this.

No one deserves to be put down or treated bad for sharing their needs and wants. No one includes you!

It's natural to feel hurt "Ouch!" when someone doesn't like you or says something mean. But it's just a reminder to like yourself and hold your hand or hoof over your wounded heart. Say, "I love my heart so much." You can even put your hand or hoof over your throat and say "I love my voice so much."

Those who speak up are the only ones who get heard. You deserve to be heard!

Love, Wanda