Loss and Unexpected Change
It can be the loss of one from a treasured pair of gloves.
It could be a teapot that gets burnt up on the stove.
It can be the loss of someone moving away or your job changing.
It could be the loss from a car accident or the passing of a beloved pet (like my friend Pandora pug).
Unexpected loss can also come when someone we care about passes away suddenly.
What the loss is and who we are can significantly affect how we handle losing something or someone.
In her book “You Can Heal Your Life”, Louise Hay talks about the importance of doing your work when you feel good. Because if you wait until something bad happens to do your personal growth work > it will be very hard to lift out of the pain.
Doing your work involves: creating a sane lifestyle, practicing regular self care, choosing good company... The better you feel about yourself and life the more easily you will be able to handle unexpected loss.
Of course, no matter how much growth work you've done > you will have feelings. It’s natural to grieve and feel all the accompanying symptoms: denial, anger, betrayal, abandonment, depression, guilt, anxiety. We are human beings after all.
But if you find yourself facing any kind of unexpected loss, know there is support available to you and people who care. There may not be an easy and immediate answer to any pain and confusion you feel, but there is hope > if you are willing to engage in the healing process.
The number one thing to do if you have an unexpected loss is to dig deep and find self-care practices that give you any amount of comfort and stability. Whether you begin having tea every morning or in the evening before bed... whether you call a positive friend to check in every day... whether you commit to taking a daily walk even on the days you don’t feel like it... or you commit to reading something uplifting and positive or watching hopeful movies... or you decide to take a painting class... (see my art therapy Pandora pug here.)
You get the idea! Self-care is definitely a must when you experience an unexpected loss, and the bigger the loss of the more quantum the self-care needed!
Essentially self-care are our positive coping skills. This is a way, the way, to become a best friend to one’s self. Many of us are not taught this as children or teens, but you can learn it and you can practice it. Practicing self-care will be your go-to and first responder in every difficult situation. And as I mentioned earlier, if it’s a regular practice already > you’ll be in a better place and it will be easier to hold to your practice when times are rough.
In virtually every spiritual tradition, there is also an idea that loss can also be opportunity to see the deeper nature of things. We can become very attached to objects, experiences, and people. Forgetting that Love is eternal, we attach to form. So having deep gratitude for the experience and blessings related to what or who we have lost is a most healing and affirming action.
If you have or are currently experiencing an unexpected loss or change, invite willingness into your life. Willingness to ask for help. Willingness to receive it. Willingness to eventually, on your own timing, transform your sadness, confusion, emptiness, regret and suffering into the acceptance that no matter what happens you are Loved and what or who you loved still lives within you.
In the world of Wanda Petunia, when our heart is broken and ultimately healed it becomes the rainbow in our heart - the storm mixed with the light of our being. Then, our pain becomes the transformative and powerful love we can share with others!
I turned the loss of my soul friend Pandora pug into a book, "Wanda Petunia's Eternal Love." The story is about a pig who has a pug who suddenly and unexpectedly passes away. Turning my sorrow into support for others helps me.
This post offered from my rainbow heart to yours!