The Art of Resiliency
I love to watch Amy. Sometimes she really shines, and she did this past weekend. She was going to ride her bicycle and meet some friends for brunch. Just as she was leaving, the chain popped off the sprocket.
I remember when she would have...
~ burst into tears and thought the world was against her, and
~ immediately given up and pushed the bike inside to take a car instead!
When I tell you this, I am not speaking lightly. Amy would have gone into despair over something so small as the chain coming off her bicycle. But on Sunday, when this happened to her >> I wanted to yell "Hip hog hooray!" She paused, took a deep breath, leaned over and put the chain back on the sprocket.
Yep, it was pretty much just like that!
I already asked her if I could tell this story, lest you think I'm revealing her secrets! She agreed, because we both love tag teaming the world with Love and this is a great story in self-love!
One of the things self-care will begin to bring into your life is something called self-love. As you care for and care for and care for yourself, you'll be more in touch with a love for yourself.
Caring for and loving yourself also creates more resiliency! Resiliency is your spunk, your fight, your bounce back.
Resiliency is something you can strengthen.
In the dictionary, resilience is "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, toughness" and "the ability of a substance to spring back into shape." Becoming resilient is an art, because we each have our own creative journey into recovering and bouncing back.
I have been spending time with Life Connections of the Carolinas' Proud and Pretty Girls. This is a mentoring program, and we recently shared "The Wanda Petunia Wisdom Project" (TWPWP) with them. TWPWP is an effort where women and girls share wisdom and inspiration. A main focus is having a women share a hurt from her childhood, how she healed it, and what she would say to a girl today who is suffering from a similar hurt.
Listening to the women leaders, mentors, and moms share their childhood hurts was truly touching. One of the women shared how someone in her family had been emotionally abusive during her childhood.
She talked about the spunk she had and how she pushed back, even as a child. It created trouble for her at the time, but was a reflection of her resilience.
While some people are natural fighters and have spunk, everyone is different. Others, when confronted with a hurtful experience, can become the "wilting flower" (I'm not naming names;)! I love watching the "wilting flowers" I know become more resilient! Whether you are spunky or have the wilting tendency, remember you can always strengthen your resiliency.
Here is your 3-part strength training regime:
1.) Conflict - yes, I hear sighs from readers everywhere as I say this. Many of you will do everything you can to avoid conflict. When you do, it creates even more drama. If something difficult happens (whether it's a person being hurtful or the bike chain popping off), become resilient. Pause > take a deep breath > take another breath > and see this as opportunity calling you to become resilient on your own behalf.
2.) The Decision - when conflict happens, you will be faced with making a decision. Make the decision to become flexible and firm. The quicker you can make a decision to let drama go and get to your mission of feeling strong and joyful > the more resiliency you will create. This is about you. It's you connecting with and honoring yourself.
3.) Action on Your Own Behalf - to become more resilient, you will then make the choice to take action on your own behalf. Taking action is your willingness to honor and respect yourself. Sometimes the bike chain comes off and I see people throw the bike down and have a temper tantrum. This is not helpful. Neither is crying and putting the bike away to take the car. If you can fix it, then fix it and pedal on! Stay focused on your desired experience and feelings!
Creating resilience is a big part of self care. You can add many more steps if you want, but it's not required! Take the short and simple route... If you just practice these 3 steps, I piggy-pinky-swear you will be bouncing back and recovering quicker. Let me know how the bouncing goes! I'll see you in the clouds!
Photos: (top to bottom)
1. Being resilient can get messy! Amy didn't realize how greasy her bike chain is, but she fixed the problem and pronto.
2. Amy being resilient and ready to roll on her bike after fixing it!
3. The Proud and Pretty Girls with their "I am wise" affirmation cards
4. The friends Amy was biking to meet, Danielle and Megan, are resilience buddies. Be with people who cultivate their own resilience without drama and with conviction!