When you know better...
How many times since birth has someone said to you, "You should know better?"
How many times have you said that to yourself?
And, often it's true. We "should" know better.
On a deeper level, that means to me: I had some wisdom, some clue, some urging, some nudge... and I didn't follow it. There are all kinds of reasons why I didn't follow it.
I thought someone would change.
I thought I could put up with things I didn't like to get the parts I did.
I was afraid...
of being alone, needing money, of going a different way, and ultimately...
I was afraid I could not really get what I wanted, be who I wanted, do what I wanted, go where I wanted.
And so, I settled.
There's a saying, "When you know better, you do better." I have found, for me, this is true.
When you finally, thank Jesus, Joseph, Mary and Buddha, REALLY know better... it's a great experience!!!
Have you ever finally learned a lesson, shifted an old pattern, just known it's over? I don't mean in an angry, sad, emotional, tormented way... but in a deep knowing, like "Okay, this is just done, and I am not going to do this/go through this/subject myself to this anymore?" And you really mean it!
I've found a few practices really help me get to the "Okay, this is just done, and I am not going to do this/go through this/subject myself to this anymore" place quicker and more harmoniously. And that for me is called, Growth!
1) Hang around positive, happy, empowered, noncompetitive people. I can never underestimate the power of good company. When you still have some negative "Nellies" in your crowd, tune into their positive qualities (ONLY) ~ as much as possible and keep seeking healthier and happier company. (And this is no offense to the many Nellies in the world who are very positive!)
2) Believe you are worthy. Is there anyone in your world that you love? It could even be a dog! Do you want the best for them? Do you believe they could do anything they wanted? (Okay maybe that doesn't totally apply to dogs!) When you want something for someone else... you want to see them have creative success, an amazing lover, a trip of their dreams, a dog bone :) > there is no separate rule for you!! You deserve everything you want for others. Yes, you deserve it too!
3) Deep allowing. In order to receive our good, we must allow it. How often do you push a compliment away, instead of saying, "Thank you!"?? Absorb, in every cell of your being, any good that comes to you! It's coming all the time. The mind will often discount and minimize it. Just allow it. You are meant to feel happy and healthy. No, life is definitely not perfect... and you feeling crappy about yourself does not help! Feel fabulous about yourself. You will then handle everything better.
None of this is about an ego-based "I am better than you" mentality. When you're beginning to trust your knowing and feel good, others may put you down. "You think you're so superior," "You're condescending," "You think you're better than everyone else." Don't let this dissuade you, and for the most part don't even try to converse about it... except maybe to say, "I hear your point of view, I'm taking a bike ride and we can catch up later!"
Then, go back to steps 1) - 3) please! Creating a sane lifestyle, a saner lifestyle, is so important to helping you (and me) truly and deeply experience what knowing better means. Forgive yourself for the times when you think you should have known better, when maybe you actually did, and you travelled into dangerous territory anyway. Hey, it happens. Believe me, I know!
No need to procrastinate your good. No need for me to procrastinate mine. Let's get deeply into "When I know better, I do better" and just do better now!
Photo: Speaking of "When I know better, I do better," I love this text from my son. GPS had suggested I change routes twice. I initially thought "Okay, maybe something is up, and I will follow this new route." Then the old mind with its old patterns hopped in. "No, that doesn't make sense... blah blah!" And, I overrode GPS and just kept going. Let's say after getting into insane traffic, I now know better! Listen to the GPS - except when it leads you into the lake!
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