"I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do."
~ Brene Brown
In one of Brene Brown's books, she talks about the value of circling around and trying again. If you've read her books, maybe you can tell me which book this idea is in. But whether you've read her works or not > maybe you will hop on the wagon with me and embrace the idea of circling around and trying again. I think of this as a "do-over."
Consider this: You have a problem from the past. It haunts you. It affects you now. Remembering you cannot change someone else, you choose to re-visit the situation and re-create it in a way that feels better to you. I call this a "do-over."
A "do-over" is facing a problem you've had and choosing to try again to create something better feeling. Hopefully, you will do this by applying new information and new approaches to re-creating an improved experience from a previously challenging and/or painful situation.
The holiday season is a perfect time to explore this idea. Here's why:
There's likely no time of year that will bring up more emotionality than holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentine's Day have to be in the top of emotion-laden days. I'm sure Mother's Day and Father's Day come close too.
Think about what's going on within you as Thanksgiving approaches. Do you want to see family OR do you want to avoid them? Are you already feeling irritated at the thought of having to spend time with people you don't really enjoy? Are old wounds, hurts, and patterns already digging at you... and you don't know what to do?
Well, I am willing to help you handle it > if you are willing to try some new things. I'd like to share some ideas that have helped me. Maybe you will want to try them on and see how they fit for you.
Idea #1: People do the best they can, and their problems are not about you.
I loved reading "The Four Agreements" - which talked about the idea "it's not about you." When we are hurt, so many of us think that it's about us. But, whoever hurt us has issues and it's about them. Maybe it affects us, and we still need to deal with it. But ultimately, whoever hurt you is responsible for it. If you combine this idea with "people do the best they can," then maybe you can move towards more forgiveness and acceptance. This does NOT mean being a doormat. But it can be very liberating and freeing to adopt these ideas.
Idea #2: You are powerful.
As a child, you were truly vulnerable and likely could not escape any wrong-doing done to you. Somehow, we often get stuck in a child-like state and think we are still in this place as adults. The good news is you are not a child anymore. So if you can shift into knowing you can create and re-create your life as you want >>> this is a "Eureka!" experience and super helpful. Super. Helpful! Healing your inner wounded child is so important and P.S. I have a new online class related to this :)
Idea #3: Do-Overs are Course Correcting
Whatever situation that has wounded you is an opportunity to do life over. Of course, there are limitations. If someone has passed away, you can only adapt to the loss and do your best to live fully beyond this situation. Obviously we cannot change the past. But when it comes to being hurt by your parents, siblings, an ex, etc >> you can turn that around and make the choice to create something new now. I like to think of this as course correcting. Something got off track in the past, and you can choose to get things back on track (or at least more on track) now. If you need help with a specific hurt, write me a quick email and I'll do my best to help you. If you need more in-depth guidance, then schedule a session with me or whoever you want to work with. Just remember YOU ARE SO POWERFUL!
I am excited for you. This is because I have done all the things I listed above. I am not perfect, and there's still more to do. Yet, I am committed to circling around, to trying again, to doing it. To re-doing it.
Are you willing to circle around and commit to yourself, to your own life? Please say "Yes!"
(top) Yes, that's me. Like many, there are things from my childhood I can do-over. Holidays sometimes came with drama, and for much of my life I felt stuck in that trap even as an adult. But with focus and effort, I have created new holiday experiences. You can too!
(middle) I am powerful sketch. Can you draw yourself as a powerful person? Do it and share your drawing with me!
(bottom) When you are able to stop lamenting and being a victim, you can be present in life now. You can live the life you have now and create an experience you desire. I know you can!